Post by Sharon aka thirdstrand on Feb 14, 2016 14:11:09 GMT -5
A while back I posted 10 Guidelines for Good Communication. Communication is so important for every relationship. What do you and your husband do to communicate well? Are there things you avoid like certain times of day? Please share below!
Ok, I have a comment and a question. Ephesians 4:26 says, "Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath." I can't understand the last part of this verse because a key to good communication between my husband and myself is letting lots of suns go down upon our wrath, or lots of days go past before we express ourselves, in order to cool down, think clearly and not say anything unnecessarily hurtful. This works really well for us because we're both stubborn, but when we don't agree for half a day or longer our insides turn to mush and we really miss each other. After a whole day or so we're much more capable of letting go of our own issues and coming back together then we would be if were forced to work it out on the spot.
Obviously, though, scripture is never wrong, (ha ha, I laugh at the idea!), so perhaps I am misunderstanding it? Can anyone shed light on this?
Post by Sharon aka thirdstrand on Feb 24, 2016 12:13:26 GMT -5
I can relate to not feeling right inside when there is trouble between you and your husband. We experience that too. It helps us work things out fast or avoid them in the first place.
Yes, the Bible is never wrong!
Early on in our marriage, my husband and I took Ephesians 4:26 to heart. We worked very hard to work things out the same day. Sometimes, however, things would go late into the night. We discovered that staying up late to work things out was counterproductive. We got more and more tired as time went on and that made communicating a lot harder. In fact, it even sometimes artificially inflated our negative feelings. So, at one point it occurred to us to stop talking for the night, lay our anger aside, and go to sleep. The problem was not resolved yet and there might even have been other feelings like sadness remaining; but we were able to let go of the anger out of a desire to obey Ephesians 4:26, love for each other, and the knowledge that we would work things out in the morning or as soon as possible. This saved us a lot of grief. Often times, we found that when morning came, the problems seemed a lot smaller than they were the night before!
Do you think laying the emotion of anger aside while you take a day or two to figure out how to best communicate about the problem could be put into place for you and your husband?
this is a great share! I definitely need to learn a lot more concerning my communication skills. I'm married for five years right now and I love my husband. Everything went very well for the first few years and we also talked a lot about our hopes, worries and concerns. So once I got pregnant we also loved our relationship and were looking forward to what we were expecting. Once the baby was born I somehow stopped talking to my husband. For sure we did some chit chat but I didn't really talk about my feelings and my feelings were huge. Everything was included. I was so happy and I was terribly scared. I had problems feeding my baby but decided not to tell my husband. I'm so happy that he didn't stop digging deeper until I finally told him about my problems and worries but also about my love. This was the best thing he could do and I'm really happy about it. He helped my finding a formula (myorganicformula.com/collections/holle-organic-formula) I was feeling okay with giving to our baby. From this moment on he could help me during the night and I also did let him. I hate that I didn't talk to him earlier and that I refused him to help me for that long. Now I learned a lot about how important communication with your partner is and that I don't have to carry everything on my shoulders on my own.