How did you begin to submit biblically to your husband?

Hello, I have been moving in the direction of submitting to my husband since we first married, but it has been a long road. At the beginning of our nine year marriage I was wilful, somewhat eratic with all my own intentions and , after being single until the age of 30, very clear about what I needed. I lost my temper often and struggled to accomodate 'two' when I was so used to being 'one'. Submitting was a biblical and worthy seed of an idea which was struggling to push its way through the tough soil of my independent heart.

After nine years it's a lot easier to see the fruit which has been a blessing to our marriage. Primarily my husband, who is a fairly gentle and sensitive man, has had the opportunity to express himself more readily and to trust in his own decision making. (Of course, not only is submission required for this, but praise in successes and genuine support with failures.) He has become a man who will shoulder the responsibility of headship with the full awareness that its on him if he fails so he needs to take it seriously - and he does - but while still knowing that he will continue to have my support, regardless of the outcome. I've noticed that some of our beautifully, strong sisters in Christ can mourn over the fact that their husbands aren't strong enough to lead them, but I need them to know that, sometimes, a strong man is not born, but made, and a woman has the power, through submission funnily enough, to assist her husband into becoming the strong leader she has always wanted and needed. The often uncomfortable truth is, though, that if she truly wants him to lead, she needs to get out of the way and prepare herself to love him through all his failures and successes.

As for me, I have become much calmer. Having a husband who can lead frees me up to do what God has created me to do; nurture, help with providing, support, and advising. Knowing he is quite aware of and able to assess the seriousness and consequences of his decisions brings me comfort and security. It also settles me more in my relationship with God. I feel like I've come in out of the tempest. I am under the roof of my husband's protection and worshiping God is easier with a settled heart.

Don't get me wrong, though. This exercise in submission is not all smooth sailing. Only the other day I submitted to my husband's unexpected plans for the weekend and was cranky about it for a day after. But we learnt something. Discuss plans before hand so we both get what we want in the areas of 'need' and give in the areas of 'want'.

Finally, I just want to say that stepping up can be just as hard for a man as stepping down is for a woman. In both cases it can go against the grain of who we think we're born to be, but it's just another way in which we walk according to the Spirit and not according to the flesh.
May God bless all your attempts to honour Him.